Saturday, March 8, 2014


I have had a restlessness lately that I needed to blog again since it has been so long.  I have been contemplating a lot of things as we have been moving forward with our adoption and with life. The last several months have been absolutely crazy! I went back to work after several years of being a stay at home mom, I decided to take a break from my educational goals for a season, my son is living with his dad during the week for his athletic goals to be a possibility, my girls started a brand new school, and my daughter began her first year of competitive soccer; just to name a few changes.

As we continued chasing after a home study completion, medicals, psychological evaluations, etc. to complete our dossier I realized quickly that things were quickly getting out of whack. Aaron was working like crazy (about 50-55 hours a week), I was in school, we were dealing with a competitive soccer schedule, our youngest was having anxiety issues, and our oldest was deeply missed in the day to day. We needed some drastic family renovations!!! One of those was the decision to leave the church we had been attending (not an easy one) and move on in that realm to new experiences. I also decided that I wanted to help support our family income so that the burden was not entirely on my husband and to give us a little bit more of a break each month (adoption expenses quickly eat up every penny). God opened an amazing opportunity at my girls school to teach breakout groups. I love it!! I never knew how amazing that job could be or how much it would impact me! This decision meant that my educational goals would be on hold but as door after door continued to open we knew it was the right decision, especially knowing that when our children come home from Haiti they will need all of my time and with the position I have I will be able to give that to them.

Ever since leaving Haiti last April I knew that I fell in love with going on missions trips. I was craving to go again but knew that our adoption prevented that expense for us. In October I received an email from our agency looking for leaders to be willing to lead a trip. As a leader your trip costs are  much more affordable and I jumped at the opportunity. As I began to put the word out I continued to pray for people to come. Since that time 1 person has signed up which has been nothing short of discouraging. As I contacted local pastors I was a surprised and discouraged by the lack of motivation to get the word out to their congregations. Over and over I have heard from many believers that "maybe that is your gift, I am called to do other things", or "that is not my spiritual gift". I am sure those words have come from my mouth too. The reality is we are all called to minister to the orphans, "defend the rights of the poor, and needy". A common response has been "we are already going on mission to..." or "we support this specific ministry already". I don't get it. Is it too much to add in to a bulletin about one more mission opportunity? Who does that hurt? I have sensed for a while but have seen a lot of church member possession over the last year that saddens me. What a community it would be if the four walls didn't have invisible locks. I know people might get up in arms about this but lets look at the reality of it. What could it look like if churches banded together and helped each other to get missions trips funded and staffed? Imagine a Christian community where one church has a food bank and ten others have donation bins in their lobbies to support it. Imagine 10 missions trips opened to thousands instead of hundreds. Imagine a Christian community that envelopes the state where Christians in St. George have amazing friendships with people in Ogden because of a common ministry. Imagine...

Imagine an adoption community that reaches far beyond the walls and has a support system like no other because it expands the "four walls" and becomes a community of people who have gone before, walking alongside those who are entering in to the process (from paperwork to coming home and beyond). I have personally experienced some unfriendly reactions to questions as I have tried to navigate through mounds of paperwork. It leaves you feeling sad and alone. I have been so blessed with a husband willing to sit with me to fill out every piece of paper, grant applications, run errands to certify things, etc. Imagine if another couple is maybe not afforded that and whoever has to do the legwork has someone running alongside with them no matter what. If churches come together the support system increases exponentially.  Let's face it we do not all handle life the same way but you have a better chance of finding someone with the love, compassion, and energy to walk with you, in a pool of tens of thousands than in a pool of one thousand. I have seen a few people come home with their adopted children now and it is hard!!! I feel so blessed that a beautiful person I was connected to has already come alongside us and has blessed us in ways she can't even imagine. She didn't care that she didn't know me very well, she cared because she had an amazing support system and wants to be that for someone else. That is the community I hope for, the community I want to be for someone else...

Adoption update...

Aaron and I will be submitting our completed dossier in the next few weeks. We received our USCIS approval for two children. More waiting after that for our referrals and then travel to Haiti for a two week bonding trip. Please pray for us as the waiting can be very difficult. Please pray that we continue to find balance in our family so that we keep some of the crazy out. Please pray for the Christian community around all of us that we find common ground and be willing to work together to see amazing things happen in our world. Two is definitely better than one!!

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